I was lost, confused, and just wanted to be loved. But boyfriends and men tainted it with unspeakable abuse. Love did find me with another woman and for the first time I finally felt safe and fell deeply in love. After 15 years it fell apart from the tragedies of life. I was heart broken, depressed, alone, and suicidal. This is when I started pursuing the gay community. I was again searching for love and at that time, found a strong bond of new friends. I started drinking alcohol again, which became more entrenched as this was part of the scene and my coping mechanism of buried pain and trauma.
No one ever told me the truth, whether they knew it or not. There was a time when truth was once read to me with clobber verses of the Bible, but it just left me feeling condemned and unaccepted, which I wouldn't hear it because I was happily in love. Later on truth was twisted with the false belief of God's love. I thank God that He loved me in spite of myself and the powerful encounter I had with Him that saved and changed my life. God took me on a journey filled with hardships and brought deep inner healing through the pain and suffering of my deepest wounds. Ever since being saved I have learned through the teachings of God's truth in love. Now He has asked me to speak the hard truth and not shrink back in the name of love, but loving the way Jesus loves. God's love runs far deeper than we could possibly imagine. The depth of His love through sacrificing His Son at the cross covers all and made it possible for us to live together inside of that never ending love. The power of His love heals us and the Holy Spirit transforms us from the inside out. Love does no harm, but acts in others' best interest. Love speaks truthfully to our neighbor. Jesus "desires all people to be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth." (1 Timothy 2:4 ESV)
Jesus was never silent on controversial topics. Those who love must speak truth. Not everyone, but as a whole body of Christ we have been silent on such things as, same sex attraction and gender confusion. We are all members of one body and need each other to move forward. God says, as He reassured Paul in the night by a vision, "Do not be afraid, but go on speaking and do not be silent." (Acts 18:9 ESV)
Despite the fear that tries to seep in and the safety of staying silent, I will obey His command and continue in His love because I know God promises to be with me and will protect me. Love and relationship is the key as Christ first loved us. Hatred has no place in the household of God. We know we belong to Him by loving Him, others, and obeying His commandments. We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers and sisters. (1 John 3:16 NASB) This is a self sacrificial love that works for the good of others. I think of the time when Esther risked her life to save the lives of her people. First people need to know this love, which doesn't make sense to the world, and who God is. We must speak truth out of a motivation of love and not be afraid and to fight for the good and freedom of others. Speaking truth in love go hand-in-hand.
Our focus is on love and Jesus. Sharing stories of how God set us free and changed our life is one of the most powerful things we can do. I know this to be true because it was done for me. I am not here to change others, but to pour out God's love, how He helped me, and point others to Jesus. You are forever safe with Him. God loves all people. We are to love people and meet them where they are as Jesus did, but He never leaves us where we are at. His desire is for us to walk fully into the identity He created us for. We share the truth because of His love with loving people whom Christ died for.
If you would like to here more about overcoming sexuality identity and experience the power of God's love to heal and transform, please join me at the Arise Esther Conference by clicking here
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